:: Thursday, February 24, 2005 ::

When do we cross the line?

I've been talking about how I've thought CG was a specimen of the 'mature guy' type whom I think is really attractive. Character, I mean, not in the relationship sense. These are the kind of guys whom I would love to hang out with. It's like, no pressure, good conversation, plus you don't get pissed off at the childishness of someone whose main vocab consists of 'lame', 'stupid' or 'whatever'.

And see, because I liked hanging out with CG, there have been a couple of people who like to tease us about the friendly banter we have etc.

It makes me uncomfortable. It got to a point where he actually asked me - 'They are talking about us it?'. And I get a little irritated at them, cause hey, there are platonic relationships ok. Not everything crosses the line to become romantic relationships. And their constant jibes are irritating.

Then why the entry title? When do we cross the line?

It got me to thinking about when good friends become more than that. I mean, in a general sense, not in this case.

I realise that when I subconciously categorize people into different 'groups'. Some people just fall straight into the 'friend' category, even when I've just met them. It seems a little unfair, but there are people whom I feel I just can't fall for. So they just fall directly into the friend category. And they usually remain in that category.

They usually never cross the line. I think I defy all the other people who 'become friends, then become lovers'. Not for me, I guess.





:: The Girl 11:27 PM [+] ::
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Again

I'm resurrecting this blog, under the hope that no one will read this. Just needed some place to write about some new thoughts.

This entry will mainly focus on some guys I got to know.

Why do we like mature men?

Recently I've been thinking about why guys usually find the need to boost their ego so much, and why I've always had a preference for men who are mature.

Just yesterday, I went out with a guy, CC. To be honest, I spent half of the date hoping it would end soon, and I'll get a reprive from his constant chatting. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that your date talks, in contrast with dates who are so quiet you'd think that they've suddenly fallen into a coma. Or something.

But certainly, there are different kinds of talking. There is talking, and then there is conversation. What happened during that date was that my date was more concerned about telling me how
(1) exciting his life was because it was filled with 'gross' gay men who are in love with him/his friends
(2) stupid his college was because apparently everyone were such losers
(3) popular he was, in contrast with some of my other friends who were, in his opinion, losers.
(4) stupid the army was, for asking him to do his job, which he was supposed to do, but hey, they are all 'stupid'

I laughed, and wished I was somewhere else.

There are times when too much of bravado comes across as incurable arrogance and insecurity. This guy reeks so much of it, I want to scream. I mean, if this was supposed to be a date, aren't you supposed to let me do some of the talking too?

Seriously.

I think that is why women seek guys who are mature. Guys who are mature enough to be confident, and not cocky. They are secure about who they are, know what's their strengths, understand their weaknesses. They either come to terms with it, or try to make changes. Whatever it is, they don't try to hide it under a mask of bravado, which is what angsty young boys do. They get angry, they think everything is 'stupid' or 'useless'.

It's so unattractive. Come on. You are not the smartest person in the world either.

Today I was talking to this guy CG. He is my idea of a mature guy. When he speaks, it's with the certain confidence that he knows what kind of person he is, and when you're secure with who you are, it shows. It shows in the way you speak. It shows in the way you relate to other people. It shows in your littlest actions, and in the way you walk, the way you interact with the people around you. Everything he does is a subtle affirmation, quiet confidence to the kind of person he is. And that's attractive.

The mature man talks about himself with the confidence that he knows what he's talking about, he knows what kind of a person he is. He is not afraid to reveal his flaws, and somehow, the fact that he knows his flaws makes him a more interesting person than the angsty young boy's 'I'm too cool for the world' - ness. Really.

But the mature man does not only talk about himself. He's talks about you too. He's interested in what you have to say, and takes a genuine interest in you. He remembers details about you that you thought he'd forget. He listens and gives advice. He looks at you when you speak. When you leave after having a conversation with him, you'd feel like there are so many more things you want to tell him, and that your conversation could go on forever.

That's the kind of person CG was. How glad am I that I know someone like that whom I can really talk to.
:: The Girl 5:43 AM [+] ::
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